How to be Captain Organised and attack festival season like a sequined Commando

How to be Captain Organised and attack festival season like a sequined Commando
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Attending your first festival this year and feeling slightly overwhelmed? Don’t worry, we have you covered: I have some useful strategies and some real life hacks learnt from years of jostling to the front to see the headline acts or how to get the best view a bit further back if you prefer to be a bit chill. We’ll share tips on how to make sure you don’t miss a thing, looking your best and staying totally calm and serene.

 First:

About 6 months before the festival, open your dating app of choice:

Then look for someone...  anyone at all, that is 7 foot tall. It doesn’t matter if you’re not that in to them, remember: They just have to be 7 feet tall… You can change your personal preferences to suit and you have to be single minded and goal driven when it comes to festival weekend…..

Did I mention that they should also be keen on going to the gym and should be able to lift about 80 to 100kg for 5 hour stretches at a time. We’ll talk more about this later….

 I’m sure seeing the headliners is what we’re all most excited about and the main reason we bought those ridiculously expensive tickets in the first place - yikes! However, by no means does that mean the other acts should be neglected. In fact, the smaller acts are usually what make your time there worth it, since not only do they take up the majority of your day, but discovering artists you’ve never heard before for the first time and listening to them live is becoming a lost experience that cannot be beat; there’s never a better, more authentic way to discover new music than to hear it live and let it resonate with its community and the message the musicians carry through their stage presence. Wow that was deep….

My top tip to get the most out of your experience and to discover new music, would be to use the app that the organisers have made. For example: Reading and Leeds festival have an app and so do a lot of other big festivals: Get yourself and everyone you’re going with to ‘like’ all the artists you definitely want to see. This way you can ensure you all prioritise your fave artists and plan out timings of when to meet so that you don’t miss them; it also means that you can see where you have gaps in your day and decide which artists you might want to give a chance. 

Another misconception for festivals is that you always have to be as close to the front as possible in order to have a good time and this is simply just not true. Of course, if you’re determined to get barricade spots for your favourite artist then by all means run for that place babe! This does however inevitably mean sacrificing seeing a bunch of other amazing sets that you may have wanted to see, since you will be saving your place the majority of the day (especially if they’re headlining). If you do decide to wait around and save a spot for 8 hours in the sun or the rain then you will have to stand around and listen to sets that are just boring while you wee yourself rather than lose your place. Anyways.... Often the back of the crowd is where it’s at anyway as there’s much more room to dance and jump around - plus this is what your 7 foot tall date was for. You can now sit on their shoulders for a better view! And remember they have to be your date and no one else’s, because only you get to sit on their shouders because you have been prepping them for six months now and spotting them at the gym and counting their bicep curls and telling them how ripped they look.

So now we have your day planned and your view sorted we can now talk about the most important part of the festival: Your Outfits! (There is absolutely no bias to the fact we run a costume and festival shop… Promise.) It doesn’t matter if you’ve not managed to wash or shower properly in three days, as long as you sparkle that’s all that matters; although deodorant still might be a good idea. Remember…Festivals are a place where you can wear your wildest outfits without fear of judgement, and if someone is judging then they’re just jealous and definitely don’t look as cool as you. That’s okay though, just tell them to get down to us (blatant marketing) and we’ll sort them out. They’ll come out looking so bedazzled, decked out in full sequins head to toe, they couldn’t possibly be sad enough to carry on being a hater. You also can’t forget one of our iconic fans that we design to wave in the crowd, not only do they help with the heat but you will look super slay and may even get noticed on the big screens or even better, the artists on stage! (Editors Note: That plug was not subtle, but neither are we)

Ultimately, if you apply these tips and make a trip to our LemonBelly stall in Brick Lane before your festival, there’s every chance you will have a great time as well as being the best dressed there – I mean who could possibly say no to sparkly jackets and disco helmets??!

 BTW: Everyone hates packing their tent up and some animals just leave it there for someone else to deal with. Handy life hack: Instruct your 7 foot tall festival date that they should pack your tent away while at the same time slipping your backpack over your shoulder and carrying a black bag and mutter something under your breath about going to the bin. At this point leave the campsite and then proceed to change your name, change address and seek plastic surgery. And bingo! There you have it… You managed to have the best festival weekend ever, you looked wonderful, you listened to some great music and you got a great view and if that was not enough you got someone else to pack your tent away. Just don’t forget to leave all text messages from your giant festival date on unread until next year when you need a good view again.

By Rose (LemonBelly)

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